Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Playerisms 2: The 10 Date Commandments
A few people have sent emails asking what happened to the Playerisms segment of the blog. So we have a new one for you...todays topic is the 10 Date Commandments. Follow these and you're sure to build a sustained emotional interest with that summer fling. Ladies you'll thank me for this one.
let the past be
You have a past; shorty has a past. Bringing up all the bs from your old dating triumphs and troubles is unnecessary. It'll only lead to subconscious jealousy and pointless competition. This is a no brainer, but some dudes wild out! Don't give her graphic details of your best one-nighter, and don't badmouth the ex. Treat your dating history like a resume, drop a few key details to display your credentials (and show you're not crazy) with no over-elaboration.
pedestal? nah dog
Look at Nick Cannon and Mariah; he worships her like a goddess, but doing so in reality always ends in disaster. It might seem romantic make your shorty number 1 but it comes across as desperate and overbearing if she's not wifey! Of course there's always room for occasional romance and compliments, but make sure to treat her like the real person she is the rest of the time.
stay cool man
No one likes a lame or a stalker. You may be falling hard for shorty, but give her room to breathe: don't hit her non-stop in the cell, no “surprise” visits and no requests for dates every day of the week. This is essential that all dudes understand this. Always leave them wanting more. Try to follow the 3-for-1 Rule: Don't initiate contact more than three times in a row; let her come to you once in a while.
keep it real with her
There's little point in pursuing something that just isn't working. Know when it's time to stand up and walk away. You don't have to be an ass about it, but don't chase dates merely for the sake of dating. Generally, if you aren't sure things are working out, they’re probably not. All women appreciate honesty.
compliments are key
This one is a given: take the time to make her feel good about herself. In today's dating world, with all the rules, systems and mind games, compliments aren't what they used to be. In fact the old-fashioned compliment is often overlooked. If she looks beautiful, tell her, but in a way that differentiates you from every other guys that has told her that. If she's the funniest girl you've ever dated, let her know. If the two of you are comfortable with each other, and she's goodmoney in the sheets, tell her that too.
discussing other women = danger
Yea this is like jumping into hot oil: never dangle other women in front of her. It might still be the early stages of your relationship and things aren't serious just yet, but before you establish an exclusivity rule with her, the other women you’re dating should always remain separate. This is one of those forgotten timeless dating rules. Being respectful entails letting her know if you're dating others, but not going into the gory details. Don't mention that cute girl you met yesterday, and don't check out other women in front of her. Also, in the long-term, don't use other women to stir up jealousy, it's childish. Mentioning your new dime of a shorty isn't going to inject passion into a declining relationship.
always stay fresh, slipping is not allowed
For some guys (lames) after spending some time with a girl, you'll start to feel comfortable around her... sometimes too comfortable. You won't feel the urge to get fly and let things slide. You should relax around her, but this can go too far. Forgetting about hygiene, farting, wearing ratty, stained shirts, and adding on a few extra pounds should be avoided. She knows you're a real person and, believe me, she knows you have faults, but you still need to get fresh.
everything happens for a reason, let things play out
Relationships are organic and develop at their own pace. Working on a timetable, like planning on moving in together after two years, getting engaged after three, and getting married after four just won't turn out well. Wait until things feel right, rather than doing it all when it’s expected. And under no circumstances should you tell her you love her in the first month, that's just OD, like seriously.
ex-wifey is trouble (fun trouble is still trouble...)
Forget the myth that after breaking up, you and an ex can remain best friends and help each other through the struggles of the next relationship. HAHA maybe in dreamland, and I'm speaking from experience. Your focus should be on the girl you're with in the here and now. By all means, be amiable with your exes: exchange catch-up e-mails every few months and say hello when you bump into them. But they should never linger around your new relationship it's just not a good look and sabotage may insue.
don't give up, see like a watch you better with time
Not every pickup attempt will land a date, not every date will be perfect, and every relationship, except The One, will make u tight. Taking these guarantees on the chin is perhaps the cardinal rule of dating. Don't dwell on the bad times -- learn from them, and get yourself ready to approach the next girl.
let the past be
You have a past; shorty has a past. Bringing up all the bs from your old dating triumphs and troubles is unnecessary. It'll only lead to subconscious jealousy and pointless competition. This is a no brainer, but some dudes wild out! Don't give her graphic details of your best one-nighter, and don't badmouth the ex. Treat your dating history like a resume, drop a few key details to display your credentials (and show you're not crazy) with no over-elaboration.pedestal? nah dog
Look at Nick Cannon and Mariah; he worships her like a goddess, but doing so in reality always ends in disaster. It might seem romantic make your shorty number 1 but it comes across as desperate and overbearing if she's not wifey! Of course there's always room for occasional romance and compliments, but make sure to treat her like the real person she is the rest of the time.stay cool man
No one likes a lame or a stalker. You may be falling hard for shorty, but give her room to breathe: don't hit her non-stop in the cell, no “surprise” visits and no requests for dates every day of the week. This is essential that all dudes understand this. Always leave them wanting more. Try to follow the 3-for-1 Rule: Don't initiate contact more than three times in a row; let her come to you once in a while.keep it real with her
There's little point in pursuing something that just isn't working. Know when it's time to stand up and walk away. You don't have to be an ass about it, but don't chase dates merely for the sake of dating. Generally, if you aren't sure things are working out, they’re probably not. All women appreciate honesty.compliments are key
This one is a given: take the time to make her feel good about herself. In today's dating world, with all the rules, systems and mind games, compliments aren't what they used to be. In fact the old-fashioned compliment is often overlooked. If she looks beautiful, tell her, but in a way that differentiates you from every other guys that has told her that. If she's the funniest girl you've ever dated, let her know. If the two of you are comfortable with each other, and she's goodmoney in the sheets, tell her that too.discussing other women = danger
Yea this is like jumping into hot oil: never dangle other women in front of her. It might still be the early stages of your relationship and things aren't serious just yet, but before you establish an exclusivity rule with her, the other women you’re dating should always remain separate. This is one of those forgotten timeless dating rules. Being respectful entails letting her know if you're dating others, but not going into the gory details. Don't mention that cute girl you met yesterday, and don't check out other women in front of her. Also, in the long-term, don't use other women to stir up jealousy, it's childish. Mentioning your new dime of a shorty isn't going to inject passion into a declining relationship.always stay fresh, slipping is not allowed
For some guys (lames) after spending some time with a girl, you'll start to feel comfortable around her... sometimes too comfortable. You won't feel the urge to get fly and let things slide. You should relax around her, but this can go too far. Forgetting about hygiene, farting, wearing ratty, stained shirts, and adding on a few extra pounds should be avoided. She knows you're a real person and, believe me, she knows you have faults, but you still need to get fresh.everything happens for a reason, let things play out
Relationships are organic and develop at their own pace. Working on a timetable, like planning on moving in together after two years, getting engaged after three, and getting married after four just won't turn out well. Wait until things feel right, rather than doing it all when it’s expected. And under no circumstances should you tell her you love her in the first month, that's just OD, like seriously.ex-wifey is trouble (fun trouble is still trouble...)
Forget the myth that after breaking up, you and an ex can remain best friends and help each other through the struggles of the next relationship. HAHA maybe in dreamland, and I'm speaking from experience. Your focus should be on the girl you're with in the here and now. By all means, be amiable with your exes: exchange catch-up e-mails every few months and say hello when you bump into them. But they should never linger around your new relationship it's just not a good look and sabotage may insue.don't give up, see like a watch you better with time
Not every pickup attempt will land a date, not every date will be perfect, and every relationship, except The One, will make u tight. Taking these guarantees on the chin is perhaps the cardinal rule of dating. Don't dwell on the bad times -- learn from them, and get yourself ready to approach the next girl.
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Im sharing this on Buppie. Awesome!
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